THE POWER BEHIND OUR THOUGHTS - RAINA KALHAN
An exploration of how our thoughts can empower us or hold us back.
Just when you think you feel calm, there they are again, those persistent thoughts that reverberate endlessly.
I will never lose weight.
I will never be happy.
I ‘m will never be good enough.
Sound familiar? Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. By focusing on our negative thoughts, we give them life and create invisible barriers, unnecessary stress, and anxiety.
Our negative thoughts can become like programmes we are running, which may impact our personal lives, our relationships, careers, health, and generally leave us feeling, overwhelmed and unhappy.
Now what if you were to really listen to your thoughts and the messages you are sending yourself, would they sound happy, positive, meaningful or would they feel like you are telling yourself off or judging yourself?
The way we talk to ourselves, the language we engage is a powerful reflection of the life we live and the beliefs we hold about ourselves.
Our thoughts are powerful enough to sabotage our dreams and goals.
This self-sabotage can be conscious or sub conscious in its nature.
For example, consciously, we may exhibit excessive behaviour such as drinking too much, smoking too much etc. which ultimately has an adverse effect on our health and lives.
Sub-consciously, we may not be aware that we are self-sabotaging. The reason may be deeply rooted in difficulties that have arisen in our formative childhood years or later, and we may not be aware that over time thought patterns and beliefs have formed that are not true, and we accept them as our reality. These then play out as self-sabotaging behaviour.
It is important to realise that our experiences are unique to us and what may seem minor to someone else, may be very difficult for us. There is never a right or wrong and we do the best we can with the resources we possess. Our truth is our reality.
The inner voice of judgment may show up in a variety of ways, which limit us from exploring what is unique and wonderful about each of us.
Do any of the following behaviours resonate with you?
Do you:
· Avoid situations out of fear or embarrassment at work or in social environments.
· Try to control our own behaviour or of that of others to have everything just as we want it.
· Continually focus on your achievements for self-validation, or the validation from others.
· Become so focused on the rational processing of everything, including relationships that you appear uncaring.
· Become constantly anxious about what can go wrong.
· Constantly say yes to things you do not want to do, to gain acceptance or for fear of offending someone or being judged.
· Go into a constant state of busyness and are unable to relax and feel content.
· Do everything perfectly with every detail in place, and in doing so hold yourself back.
· Become highly focused on your feelings and are emotional and temperamental, and use your emotions as a tool to gaining affection?
Do any of these sabotaging behaviours hold you back in your life?
In the NLP (Neuro linguistic Programming) world, we believe that you have all the resources and strengths you need within you. You just have to learn, to let go of the saboteurs and embrace these strengths that sit deep inside of you.
So, what can you do to change these negative thought patterns?
You can:
· Learn to challenge your thoughts when negativity rears its head. It may help, to change the message in your mind and say to yourself “it’s just a thought and there is no evidence that it is true.”
· If a negative thought arises, give it a name. Either a comical name which makes you laugh or one that recognises the voice of self-judgement again.
· Let your imagination flow and put the negative thought in a balloon and let it float away, knowing that it doesn’t serve you.
· Start to consciously notice all the wonderful things about you, and use positive affirmations daily to fix them in your mind.
· Practise meditation or mindfulness to explore your other senses and the beauty in nature, music etc.
· Keep a gratitude journal to refocus what is of value to you in your life.
The one thing that is imperative to remember is that you are one of a kind and were not born with these negative thinking patterns. With some compassionate self-work and trust in yourself, these thought patterns can be challenged and retrained. If they run deeper and are causing you distress, or interfering with your ability to function, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional.
Raina Kalhan
Certified NLP Practitioner coach/ Hypnotherapist/ Time- line therapist
HEALTHY LIVING - Rupa Bannur
Healing yourself naturally… Listen to your internal doctor
Did you know that we have our own personal doctor, always in attendance and always with us? This doctor is not in any hospital, but within us. And yes, this doctor has an amazing ability to monitor and maintain our health, naturally.
Yes, our systems work with a regular rhythm and precision governed by our own vital force. Our needs are communicated through hunger, thirst, tiredness, etc., to maintain optimal function and performance. Not only that, but our bodies also have the built-in ability to repair themselves and fight off any external threats.
We all know that small cuts and wounds heal by themselves without leaving any scar behind. Many external threats like diseases are also fought off without us even knowing about them. But can the body heal itself from anything? Well, the ability of a human body to protect and heal itself can be said to be amazing to say the least. Even a fractured bone will heal, damaged tissues are regenerated! But it is important to not disturb this natural ability with unnecessary external chemicals.
How do we go about healing ourselves naturally? It is actually very simple but requires us to unlearn certain things that have been drilled into us for years.
When our health is not optimum, and our bodies need healing, our internal personal doctor sends signals of tiredness, lack of energy or pain. Then, we should not suppress these signals by any means, but we should listen to them and take complete rest that gives time for self-curing. Generally, we see that our bodies do not ask for food during the time of pain/recovery. Again we should listen to this and not force feed ourselves. Certain amount of discomfort and other symptoms are the signals of our own recovery mechanism and should not be suppressed at the first instance artificially by chemicals.
Even when we are generally healthy, and not sick, to continue to maintain optimal health, follow certain basic rules of healthy living principles:
· Eat (only) when hungry; Drink (only) when thirsty; Rest when tired or sick
· Eat healthy food. Avoid packaged and processed food, carbonated drinks; reduce chemicals in our day to day life (it could be chemicals in your toothpaste, soap, shampoo, deodorant, plastic, creams, lotions etc.). Go for products with natural ingredients
· Stop unwarranted self-medication.
· Adopt a healthy peaceful lifestyle. Wake up early by 6 am, sleep by 11 pm, follow nature’s rhythm. Sleep in a well ventilated room. We heal ourselves every night with good sleep.
· Exercise regularly. Include breathing exercises. Start meditation from a young age (8+ years).
· Reduce digital usage to essential use (go for a digital detox, if needed).
But sometimes, our modern lifestyle, polluted environment or diseases push our bodies beyond its ability to rebalance. What to do then? Think natural alternatives to cure – those that are non-invasive or do not involve us taking any chemicals in. Two options come to mind that are ideally suited for many ailments including many chronic ailments.
· Acutouch: Traditional Acupuncture without needles. This treatment method works to rebalance our internal vital energy to bring back health. This is completely non-invasive and relies on energy balance and lifestyle modifications.
· Sound healing: Focuses on balancing body and mind using sound and is very effective against many chronic conditions including pain.
Such non-invasive healing options which do not involve needles, chemicals provide support to our internal doctor to heal our bodies and mind for better health.
Our internal doctor is truly working hard 24 x 365 days for our health. We need to follow the signals from our internal doctor, respect our body systems, lead a healthy lifestyle and provide support to strengthen our internal doctor naturally.
Rupa Bannur
Passionate about healthy living/ Certified Acupuncturist / Author
Perseverance and RESILIENCE - The road to success - BHAVYA ARORA
‘’Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts’’
Winston S. Churchill
The dictionary meaning of Resilience is ‘’ the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness’’ and Perseverance is ‘’persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.’’
Resilience and perseverance go hand in hand. Your capability and capacity to recover from setbacks gives you resilience—strength to move forward. This new strength creates faith and belief in yourself, which gives you confidence—not to give up. This is a continuous cycle that ultimately promotes your growth so you can reach your maximum potential.
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be fun and rewarding. But it can also be scary.
It's normal to doubt your decisions and yourself when you're stepping out of your safe zone. The trick is to face your fears head on, rather than letting them stop you from trying new things. If you don't like what you see, it's time to make a change.
Get new perspectives and shift your energies so that fear has no more power over you. Once it starts to loosen its grip, you'll find the strength to deal with obstacles that come your way. Every situation that used to scare you will now be seen as a learning experience while old skills will resurface as well as new ones being born!
In life, there are no failures or mistakes. They are opportunities for learning and growth.From working within your comfort zone, you move into an investigative phase. Your focus is on learning and adapting to new challenges. This will bring you new clarity and focus in the direction you are going and why. You are moving toward your maximum potential. You are confident to take up new challenges and have the resilience to withstand storms
I have had many challenges in my life and have learned from each one. I found that the choices I make directly impact how smooth or bumpy my journey through life is,and when I began making conscious choices even though some were hard to make, my life became more smoother and balanced.
The power to choose what's good for you at any particular point of time in your life is in your hands, and it’s yours only.
Bhavya Arora
Certified Life / Executive / Growth Coach
Forward Focus London
